[fireflystar]

I have been seeing my new boyfriend for a month. he has a 7 year old male lab/spaniel cross. I have spent a lot of time with this dog, when I was just friends with the boyfriend I used to walk and play with the dog while he was away. Since we started seeing each other I have noticed a change in the dog's behaviour. The dog will follow me sadly from room to room, trying to put his head on my lap or cuddle up to me, completely ignoring my boyfriend. The dog will whine and cry if we hug or kiss. he cannot be in the room with us unless we are not sitting together, because he makes such a fuss.

The dog growled and started to snap at my boyfriend when we were play wrestling. We discovered that I can slap at him with no problem, but if he slaps at me the dog jumps in to intervene, hackles raised, growling. (not that we walk around slapping at each other). When he gets angry at my boyfriend touching me, my boyfriend holds me and says "No" loudly to the dog, who then slinks off and sulks.

I think that my boyfriend's behaviour is not the most helpful in this situation, but how do I stop two large males fighting over me? Its destroying THEIR bond!

(Also boyfriend seems to get jealous of the dog, so if there are any men tamers out there!)

Get rid of the boyfriend but take the dog.

Splinters!!!
I wish I had some good advice for you fireflystar, unfortunatly the only thing I can think of is to maybe try ignoring the dog some and having your b/f interact with the dog more, so the dog has to start relaying on him for the attention and everything. Hopefully someone else will have a better idea for you. Best of luck with the situation.

[fireflystar]

Thats a good idea Jakesmom. I'll try that. Hes such a lovely dog, I really love him because I haven't been able to have a dog for many years, and I have probably spoiled the dog a bit much, giving him treats etc.

I will be less demonstrative with the dog for a while.

Let me know how things work out.

Try this:
Get your boyfriend and get the dog. Do what ever you want with him, sit with him, hug him, slap him when ever the dog is unhappy with what you are doing correct him. My way of correcting my dog is just a quick sharp EH and I use my finger tips and touch them to my dogs neck. I just flick my wrist really quick so my dog feels the pressure. If this doesn't work I would put him on his back and make him calm and submissive.
People have there own correction methods but I highly discourage BAD DOG because that is talking to your dag and rewarding him.
Just teach him you are da boss and he can't mess with your boyfriend or else!
Hehe good luck.

You should read the book MINE! to learn about this behavior, called resource guarding.

One thing you can do is that anytime the dog displays any aggression toward anyone when you're around, get up and leave the dog. The dog needs to learn that that behavior makes what he wants, go away.

[fireflystar]

Thank you very much for your advice everyone. The Dog, the Boyfriend and Myself have all worked it out most of the time. Dog still gets a little 'woofy' at any sort of play in which he feels I am threatened, but If I say in a firm voice 'Bed!' (kinda like waht DodoBird 27 said) he goes and lays down on his bed and sooks. If Boyfriend says "Bed!" Dog is slowly learning not to growl/bark, but to lay down and look miserable quietly.

I dont think hes really all that miserable to be honest, cos if he is invited to come and play too he chirps right up, and he has one of those sad faces anyway, even when he is happy.

I was just concerned he was going to bite someone, but after obesrvation I think hes just vocal.

Originally Posted by splinters

Get rid of the boyfriend but take the dog.

you have a point here I have to agree with you LOL

I posted a reply yesterday, but apparently it didnt show up for some reason. I'm glad things are working out for all of you. It sounds like your on your way to a happy family.