[Turtske]

I need any advice I can get. I've had my chocolate lab since she was 5 weeks 3 days old. She is now 4.5. She has been my baby from day one and I love her so much. she is very well trained and a super smart dog. She doesn't always listen to everyone else, but I trained her alone so I understand why. Recently my boyfriend bought a house and I have gradually been moving in with him. Since I hate leaving Maya With my parents, I try to bring her over as much as possible when I stay over at night. She started being fearful of my boyfriend about 2 months ago, for no real apparent reason. He has never hit her so I know that is not an issue. (he can raise his hand at her like he was going to hit her an she doesn't flinch one bit) it's almost like he "molested" her is what it seems. I know this sounds very weird but hear me out: a friend of mine used the analogy of a dogs tail being like a mans dick, whereas most don't like them being grabbed or touched or you know. I can remember back to one incident where he was playing with her before she got weird and he had grabbed her tail. We have tried working with her so much but we just can't seem to see a change. He has to get on the floor in order for her to come to him most of the time and has twice peed on his floor. Once being yesterday when I left for work ( he works second shift so wanted her stay with him) when he work up there was pee where she has been laying) she has been left at the house without us before and have never found anything.
I have a few possibly key things: my parents have 2 other dogs that she was raised with that are not here with her. At my boyfriends we have 2 cats and she had never been around cats before tho she is excellent with them. She has lived in the country her whole life and his house is in a small town. He doesn't really like her all too much, just trying his best to make me happy. She is used to sleeping under the covers with me at my parents house and here she is not allowed on the bed. She is aske to come on the couch every so often now. She is very clingy with me and I know that needs to be addressed to be more independent on her and my end.
Her and I will be moving in with him completely in a month. I can't stnd to see her sad and upset but I simply cannot choose between the two of them.
Please any advice is appreciated!!!!!

[Yogi]

Originally Posted by Turtske

I need any advice I can get. I've had my chocolate lab since she was 5 weeks 3 days old. She is now 4.5. She has been my baby from day one and I love her so much. she is very well trained and a super smart dog. She doesn't always listen to everyone else, but I trained her alone so I understand why. Recently my boyfriend bought a house and I have gradually been moving in with him. Since I hate leaving Maya With my parents, I try to bring her over as much as possible when I stay over at night. She started being fearful of my boyfriend about 2 months ago, for no real apparent reason. He has never hit her so I know that is not an issue. (he can raise his hand at her like he was going to hit her an she doesn't flinch one bit) it's almost like he "molested" her is what it seems. I know this sounds very weird but hear me out: a friend of mine used the analogy of a dogs tail being like a mans dick, whereas most don't like them being grabbed or touched or you know. I can remember back to one incident where he was playing with her before she got weird and he had grabbed her tail. We have tried working with her so much but we just can't seem to see a change. He has to get on the floor in order for her to come to him most of the time and has twice peed on his floor. Once being yesterday when I left for work ( he works second shift so wanted her stay with him) when he work up there was pee where she has been laying) she has been left at the house without us before and have never found anything.
I have a few possibly key things: my parents have 2 other dogs that she was raised with that are not here with her. At my boyfriends we have 2 cats and she had never been around cats before tho she is excellent with them. She has lived in the country her whole life and his house is in a small town. He doesn't really like her all too much, just trying his best to make me happy. She is used to sleeping under the covers with me at my parents house and here she is not allowed on the bed. She is aske to come on the couch every so often now. She is very clingy with me and I know that needs to be addressed to be more independent on her and my end.
Her and I will be moving in with him completely in a month. I can't stnd to see her sad and upset but I simply cannot choose between the two of them.
Please any advice is appreciated!!!!!

Part of the is simply a change in her routine. Dogs like people are routine oriented and when there is a change, it takes time to acclimate. Adjusting to cats from being with those of her kind as playmates that kept her active and entertained also can be upsetting. It is important that your boyfriend take part in this by spending one on one time with her. Letting him feed and walk or play with her. Giving her attention so that she sees him as she does you, a sense of security during this transition.

[Turtske]

Thanks! He takes her out and plays ball a lot Whig is one of her favorite things, but I'll encourage him to do more

[CorkyMax]

Sorry if this sounds off base but reading between the lines---I wonder what is happening when you are gone to work for one thing and your dog is left with the boyfriend.

Some quotes from you: He doesn't really like her all too much, just trying his best to make me happy.

She is very clingy with me

I simply cannot choose between the two of them

To put it bluntly---And I've seen this happen to some members in this forum and on the news also.---Are you positive that your boyfriend isn't harming this dog and being abusive when you are not there to see it?!!! He doesn't like the dog to start with and being as your dog is so clingy to you--Your boyfriend may be jealous to boot!

I am even suspecting that those thoughts may be going through your own head--quote: I simply cannot choose between the two of them--unquote.

If your boyfriend is a little abusive to you at times---Then I'll bet he definitely is to the dog when you are not around!

I hope I am all wrong for both you and the dog's sake!!! But if there is something like this going on---I hope you choose the dog or give it to someone who will love it. I would listen hard to your dog--They know people!
And if this is the situation, You just can't let your dog be kept in this environment--That is torture and you may come home some day after work and find horrible things!!

I went back and searched for a thread done in here a couple years ago about another member that had the problem I am talking about--Here is a link to that thread--I hope you read it (Note that there are 2 pages in this thread:
My puppy is afraid of my bf and pees

[Turtske]

"To put it bluntly---And I've seen this happen to some members in this forum and on the news also.---Are you positive that your boyfriend isn't harming this dog and being abusive when you are not there to see it?!!! He doesn't like the dog to start with and being as your dog is so clingy to you--Your boyfriend may be jealous to boot!"

If your boyfriend is a little abusive to you at times---Then I'll bet he definitely is to the dog when you are not around!"

First off I want to address that in no way has my boyfriend ever been abusive towards me or my dog. Trust me I would not stand for that so for all remaining replies to this thread please do not accuse him of doing so. He's a good man. I love my dog and know her. I'm looking for ways to work on things to bring her out of this. One of my biggest feelings is that she's jealous of him. Not vice versa.

[reeskujo]

The behavior she's exhibiting is not that of jealousy but nervousness or fearfulness. Yogi is very right in the fact that she is going through a lot changes in her life all at once and it's for sure going to take time for her to get acclimated. Some dogs take much longer then others. My last Akita had to be on Valium any time we went on a road trip and if we moved. He was on it for 3-4 weeks after we moved in. He of course was a bit more extreme about adjusting to new situations.

Is it possible that when you're not home and she's with your boyfriend that he's not giving her a whole lot of attention and possibly ignoring her? It's also important to remember that dogs can sense when people don't like them even if the person is not exhibiting any right out behavior to the dog suggesting that.It may simply be the fact that she has picked up on his dislike for her and if that's the case it will cause her to be nervous when she's around him and if that's the case she very well may not adjust to be around him.

Have you had a chance to observe her behavior in the new house with just you and her and your boyfriend not being around? If she's more of herself when it's just you and her then my guess would be that her issue is more with your boyfriend.

As for your statement about your boyfriend pulling her tail,he's lucky she didn't bite him. That's really not an acceptable way to play with any dog and is really rather mean and if she already senses that he doesn't like her and then even in play he pulled her tail in her mind she will see it more like he's being mean to her because he's doing something to her she obviously doesn't like. It's kind of like playing with a child and yanking on their hair only with a big muscle attached to it. Not the nicest thing to feel. The child is certainly not going to react in a positive way especially if it's being done by someone that dosn't like them.

this is going to be something that only time will tell. Please keep us updated and let us know how it's going.

[Turtske]

Thanks for the info. With the tail situation it wasnt like an intentional way to make her upset. It happened before she got the way she is now. Since this happened all we have done is picked up her tail gently and used encouraging words to make her feel better about it, hoping it would help the situation. So fr no luck but still trying

[lange]

Everyone has made great points.

The only thing I can add is that even though your bf is not physically hurting or scaring her he may have simply verbally corrected her a little too aggressively? Some young puppies can become shy with corrections like these. Especially if she is sensing he does not like her. My personal opinion, most 4 month old dogs will gravitate to anyone who pays positive attention to them. It's hard to imagine such a young pup being shy of a person they are jealous of?.. Puppies do go through fear stages where anything traumatic can stick to them but she should be past the first one, not quite at the 2nd one (6months+).

She should come around with time once she feels a better routine. At her age consistency & structure is important. Be sure you don't force her into getting close to your bf. Let her get there on her own. Also don't baby her when she starts acting shy or insecure or you'll encourage the behavior.

You should be able to find more tips if you use the search option on the forum. Good luck with it all.

[Turtske]

I apologize, I just realized I didn't specify her age... I should have put years after 4.5 not months. Thank you for the tips. There are times when he talks to her that I have to remind him to use a confident, not angry voice but typically he's using a gentle voice. She sees how loving and gentle he is with the cats and he hopes that will show to her that he's good. Once the weather here gets better were planning on going outside and him training her more because in the house there simply isn't he room we need for the training. He has made the comments that he doesn't really care if she likes him but wants her to listen to him and that's needed. I'm hoping with the training they start a bond like I have with her. I can't force him to like her because he's just not a dog person. But I personally think he'll come around. Right now were just waiting on her

[lange]

Sorry! I assumed you meant months.

[Turtske]

No it was my bad!! Funny thing is when people first meet her in person they too think she's 4.5 months! My neighbors two 3 month old black lab pups are as tall as my Maya already!! She's such a little girl!! Still has the puppy face too

[eugenezach]

It seems your dog hasn't got adjusted well with the new environment, routines and lifestyle. Don't worry. He's a bit insecure thats all. Make him comfortable and socialize him, take him out for a nice walk in the new place regularly, everything will get back to normal.