Hi. I'm not sure of the etiquette here and didn't want to hijack someone else's thread. My sheba is a people magnet, just loves to play. I got her from a shelter. Now I have one neighbor's son who's crazy about dogs, plays with mine every time he comes to visit with his kids.

I've had to caution him about letting his kids play with Sheba as she's a jumper and I'm concerned about her realizing one day she can jump high enough to get over my backyard fence and getting free. I'm afraid she'll get hit by a car obviously.

There's also the issue of feeding her human food. I've mentioned to him that sheba won't eat her food if she gets human food and I have to starve her for 8-12 hours to get her to eat again. I also lose the food she doesn't after consuming human food which is a waste of money I can't afford.

Well, this past weekend he did it again after honoring my concerns at first. I could tell since 1) sheba didn't touch her food and 2) she sat by the fence facing his backdoor waiting for him to come out. He was popping in and out of his parent's house to sneak and play with her and when he saw me he acted startled, kinda suspicious like.

I've already had some pretty harsh words with another neighbor over her enticing sheba to jump up and down right next to our common fence (she thinks it's fun and has actually told me she believes my pup will jump the fence one day). What's galling about it is that she never actually touches sheba, which is what the dog wants, to be petted. To me what she does is teasing the dog and giving her practice to one day jump the fence. Toss in the fact that this neighbor's had 3 or 4 pets over the years and has never been able to keep one longer than 4 months.

Now I'm already considered a little strange by my neighbors as it is but I'm ready to throw down over this. Where do people get off thinking they can do whatever they want with my baby? I'm the one left with having to deal with the aftermath of their actions. Am I wrong feeling this way about it? How should I approach this?

Is your fence chain link? If so, I suggest getting some vinyl privacy strips installed, so the neighbors cannot see your dog, and vice versa. If you can't afford the vinyl stripping right now, just get some large sheets of plywood to cover the chain link. If you already have a solid type fence, and the neighbors are merely able to look over it at your dog, I don't have a solution for that.

Perhaps it might be good to call a little casual gathering of your neighbors, in the form of a tea or barbecue, and have a very frank discussion with them about the treatment and training of your dog. Be sure to explain (quite bluntly, since they all seem to be a bit thick in the head) that they are jeopardizing your pet's health and safety. If they truly love animals as they claim, they will become concerned as well, and change their behavior. If they argue with you, disagreeing with your philosophies of dog ownership, remind them that the dog belongs to YOU, not them, and if they want to demonstrate a differing method of pet parenting, then they should get their own dog. Let them know too, that by law, the dog is YOUR PROPERTY, and if any harm should come to it by their DISRESPECT OF YOUR PROPERTY (that equates to vandalism, by the way), that you would have legal grounds for a lawsuit. If that doesn't get their attention, I don't know what will. I realize that this last tact would greatly chill your relationship with your neighbors, but sometimes we have to do what is necessary to protect our family members, whether they be human or otherwise.

How long have you had her?

Thanks for replying, I thought I had done something wrong in posting. I just got Sheba this past Feb. so she's nearing two years of age according to her file.
Sheba resembles another terrier I had for 17 years if not being the same breed (I didn't know about Wheatens then). I used to hang out with the feeding neighbor back then and he loved that one and vice versa, so much so that I considered him her fall back master.
I've already reminded all who remember Misha that Sheba isn't the same dog temperament/intelligence wise.
Funny thing is my ex bud mentioned Misha's penchant for jumping the fence and running around the hood back then, a little snarkily IMO.
I had to remind him that his family dog, a house dog they fed stuff like ice cream and such, bolted from the yard first chance she got and promptly got hit by a car. My dog always came home safely in contrast.
But thank you for your advice, I hadn't thought of using any legal alternatives. I was just gonna state my concerns and warn him about putting those concerns to a test. His actions are just symptomatic of his overall approach to me, I've pretty much let his condescending behavior slide for the sake of civility. I'm at that stage of life where I have no patience for fools or people who take me for one.

ahm sorry for the late reply anyway i think you did the right thing..

[wishbone]

I think with that kind of problem that your dog might jump out of excitement with a someone on your neighbor, better to talk to him when greeting and playing. I can't recommend ways to do it but your dog should not get much excitement seeing someone over the fence and tease him to jump. Can you get the fence higher? Also work on training your dog, specially on recall. Use some yummy treats when he response on your calls, he will surely listen and come to when you call him.

It kinda sounds like you and your neighbor have some control issues with each other. All you can really do if you think it's a problem is what the others have stated and make the fence more private.

yeah, no way a fence upgrade is feasible with my budget. i've got a few neighbors on my block who are dog owners and they've visited Sheba when they're walking their dogs thru the alley. i've asked them to bend down when visiting and that has proven effective along with my training her to refrain from jumping; she stands on her hind legs and twists around to let them pet her belly for the most part. i've asked them to step back and say "down" or "no" if she does jump and they've all understood and complied.

it's just these two on either side of me that are the problem. my ex bud's kids are understandable and i've already expressed my concerns and given my solution to the problem. however i was a little disheartened when ex bud's sister told one of the kids to leave Sheba alone when he was at the gate doing exactly what i asked and puppy behaved exactly as i hoped. i don't want to deprive puppy or the kids of any play opportunity but that's how some people are; you tell them they're doing something that bothers you and they respond by pulling back altogether as if you're overreacting. i hate it but so be it, y'know?

the other neighbor is actually a relative so there's a seeming lack of respect due to familiarity (is that a pun?) i've always been one to judge a person by their actions and she's a mean, cruel person in some ways IMO.
i've told her at least 3 different times, politely mind you, to not encourage Sheba's jumping at her when she comes into her yard and she gives me this whatever kind of look.
once we ran into each other on the bus and i mentioned that Sheba broke out of the yard and ran down the street. i had to give her b.o.t.d. when she laughed as i spoke of my fear of puppy getting run over one day. i thought maybe she wasn't really listening since she started laughing as soon as i mentioned Sheba by name (she really is a joyful animal, she tickles people silly), but she actually said in reply that "if that happens, man i would laaaaaauugh!!!" WTF???
after letting one more incident go by i got very harsh with her when i witnessed her enticing puppy to jump up at her. i can only hope she doesn't choose to get back at me when i'm not around. i mean, what's so hard about turning away or saying no to stop a dog from behaving wrongly?

anyway, raising the specter of legal action should something happen due to their disregard is a great idea i'll definitely use.
now, if you guys can give me some insight on improving her eating habits (finicky, gone thru a few brands) my life would be a lot easier!!! thanks all.

It sounds to me like your relative neighbor has another, hidden perception of you, which is causing her negative attitude/behavior toward Sheba (in children, it is called "acting out"). I think that in order to achieve a resolution, you will need to address this and get to the root of the problem. I'm just guessing based solely upon what you've revealed, so of course I cannot see the whole picture, but here is my guess, and maybe it will give you a place to start: Given the history of how your relative keeps losing dogs by escape and subsequent running over, and how you have a dog in danger of the same things happening, I suspect your relative has both envy and spite going on. For one, she may be envious that you manage to keep your dog safe and healthy, while she keeps losing them. People have a hard time admitting and coming to terms with their own faults, even in matters like this. And she might also have a skewed idea of what you think of yourself-- "She thinks she's such a perfect dog owner, judging me because my dogs escape, when her own dog is going to do the same thing one day, and won't that be funny; she'll learn she's not so perfect afterall!" Granted, your relative simply has not taken enough responsibility in caring for her pets, but no doubt she sees herself as merely being an imperfect human, believing she has done everything in her power. She is resentful of you, fearing that you are judging her, and that's really the crux of the matter right there. She wants to see you reduced to her own level of human faultiness, rather than trying to live up to your standard.

As for Sheba's picky eating habits: Stop catering to her. Just pick one type of food, and keep it the same. If she gets hungry enough, she will eat it. Guaranteed, she won't let herself starve to death.

Originally Posted by Mydogiscute

It sounds to me like your relative neighbor has another, hidden perception of you, which is causing her negative attitude/behavior toward Sheba (in children, it is called "acting out"). I think that in order to achieve a resolution, you will need to address this and get to the root of the problem. I'm just guessing based solely upon what you've revealed, so of course I cannot see the whole picture, but here is my guess, and maybe it will give you a place to start: Given the history of how your relative keeps losing dogs by escape and subsequent running over, and how you have a dog in danger of the same things happening, I suspect your relative has both envy and spite going on. For one, she may be envious that you manage to keep your dog safe and healthy, while she keeps losing them. People have a hard time admitting and coming to terms with their own faults, even in matters like this. And she might also have a skewed idea of what you think of yourself-- "She thinks she's such a perfect dog owner, judging me because my dogs escape, when her own dog is going to do the same thing one day, and won't that be funny; she'll learn she's not so perfect afterall!" Granted, your relative simply has not taken enough responsibility in caring for her pets, but no doubt she sees herself as merely being an imperfect human, believing she has done everything in her power. She is resentful of you, fearing that you are judging her, and that's really the crux of the matter right there. She wants to see you reduced to her own level of human faultiness, rather than trying to live up to your standard.

As for Sheba's picky eating habits: Stop catering to her. Just pick one type of food, and keep it the same. If she gets hungry enough, she will eat it. Guaranteed, she won't let herself starve to death.

That is very perceptive of you, Mdc. I can't tell you how much drama has gone on between our respective houses over the years. It's tough trying to be peacemaker between three women (mother, aunt and cousin) and there has been evidence aplenty of what you surmise. I've reached a point in life where I emphatically declared my "role" as Mr. Congeniality is over, I won't be impartial for the sake of peace anymore.

My relatives are the type of personalities that assume the worst of you simply because they're projecting their attitudes on you. For example, once I was out front sweeping my porch steps, chatting with my cousin. My aunt came out, saw some leaves/debris on her steps and remarked I must've swept them onto her steps as she had swept hers sometime earlier.

Now I'm aware of that saying that people often express what they really think in the form of a joke and I've witnessed this with them many times. I merely remarked that the fairly breezy day we were having or the possibility she didn't sweep as well as she thought couldn't possibly figure in the debris being there, no, I was just feeling mean and vindictive for no reason. We laughed it off but I couldn't help wondering why would she think I would be so petty towards her.

Simple; my aunt and cousin project their feelings and attitudes toward us onto us and assume we would do to them what they would do to us. Not that we're saints, we're just more straight forward if we got a problem. But as far as I know they've never lost a pet thru escape or death, I think they just return them or drop them at the shelter. Nevertheless they've never made the commitment necessary to own and parent a pet.

As for Sheba, today she ate her food completely since I starved her butt for a day. She was having some issues Monday; she ripped open a bag of compost, dug three holes incl. one in MY LAWN!!! and knocked over the trash can to raid the garbage. Very bad girl.

Didn't know I was a guy huh? You're not the first to think that on forums, other folks have said the same thing. That and my proclivity to write novels.

"Didn't know I was a guy, huh?"

LOL! You're right-- I did assume you were female; it might have had something to do with your writing pattern, the way you express yourself. But then, that isn't the first time I've mistaken a writer's gender. (And I have some other long-winded internet friends who are male, so it isn't that). I also know some female internet friends who have posed has men. Interesting, how these gender guesses/revelations come about, isn't it?

Lol I thought you were a girl too. Sorry.
I get mistaken for a guy a lot so, I know what its like :-) Although it is probably my screen name that does it

@ mdc and dodobird,

no worries, although when it happens at first it makes you wonder about what vibe you're putting out there, at least for me anyways.

saw my ex bud neighbor feeding my pooch ham on turkey day. when i confronted him about it he got sarcastic and smart mouthed with me, gave me major attitude and finished with a blizzard of I LOVE DOGS!I LOVE DOGS!I LOVE DOGS!I LOVE DOGS! you's to boot. i almost caught him doing it the nite of the redskins/cowboys game and i'd been stewing ever since, but i was calm on TG day.

now puppy is totally corrupted, she sits or lays by the fence closest to their house if anyone appears and if he comes around she won't do anything but sit and wait for him to come back out for as long as he visits. i've gone from feeding her once a day(down from two) to starving her now as she only takes a bite or two before walking away. sigh.

I'd say call the police and tell them whats happening and ask them if anything can be done. If not then it's time to open a can of whup-azz.
OR get a MEAN dog that will bite someones hand off if they put it in the fence.

Two courses of action you might consider. Have a lawyer write a "Cease and Desist" letter, and send it to the guy, certified, return receipt requested.

If that doesn't do the trick, see if you can get a restraining order. What this boy (I wouldn't call him a man) is doing is not only dangerous for your dog, but could be considered harassment. Document everything.

I'd also try to get photos of him feeding your dog. As many as I could. Then if the dog gets sick from all the garbage it's eating, present him with the vet bills.

It's time to play hard ball.

I agree with Vetgroomer. You've tried the nice approach and apparently didnt get through to the idjot. Its time to make him understand that you mean business, and apparently being nice about it isnt the way.

Oh my that kid is horrible! I also agree with vetgroomer. Make sure that you have enough proof so that you can get a restraining order.

well i have a few options i can still pursue before i start looking at legal ones. i need to speak to his father about the depth and seriousness of this. as i've stated earlier (or maybe i didn't), ex bud and i have a long history. i've known him since childhood (4 yrs. difference), dated one of his sisters and was particularly fond of his mother.

believe me, i'd prefer to make this resolution much more intimate but prudence dictates a civil outcome. he made what i consider a very serious threat and i'm a big guy, i can handle myself. but over the years i've endured many transgressions that would give one pause and wonder what his opinion of me really is. i'd like to show him in no uncertain terms i am nobody's fool.

we live on a block where most neighbors are close and familiar with each other. one neighbor gave me some insight when i related my encounter with the ex bud. he opined that the ex bud was probably drunk and related some experiences from still another neighbor and one of his own. it seems ex bud is a mean drunk so i don't think his father would welcome news of his behavior and the possible reason behind it. ex bud's older sister is also a lawyer so any talk of possible legal action would definitely perk up her ears. so we'll see what comes of it.

I wish you the best of luck getting it resolved without having to go to legal measures to do it.

thank you jakesmom. our families are on good terms, he just has an ego problem it seems, can't take criticism, a real tom cruise type personality. i've emailed a letter to them so they can better understand why i've had enough of this guy's antics over the years.

i have a couple of questions that maybe someone can answer; what's a good deterent to my dog's whimpering? sheba does it to get my attention and i usually ignore her or sometimes i'll tell her to be quiet but it's really annoying. sometimes she does it when i'm preparing her meal which makes no sense to me as she sees me right there fixing it for her. i wish she would tell me when she's hungry, like grabbing or pushing at her dish.

also she's a run-on barker, meaning she barks at passerby long after they leave her sight. when i come out she immediately stops and comes to me, making it impossible for me to see what she's barking at. any suggestions on what i can do to curb her barking like that?