[puppylove2009]

I know I've put a lot of posts up so this is the last one for awhile I hope.

She won't visit.

Let me start of by saying she would visit a lot before we got the dogs and once we got them last year the visiting stopped.

How can I show her my dogs are good and nice and won't hurt her?

Sorry for such a long story but this is the situation and what I know

Okay I've known for a while that my mom wasn't fond of my mutt. But I didn't realize she didn't like both my dogs.

As far as the mutt goes I'm constantly hearing from her :" You should have got a purebred, why did you get a mutt? You know she could just turn on you and not knowing what she is you will never know why?"

And all that garbage. She doesn't realize it has nothing to do with breed. And she doesn't understand that we adopted her and gave her a home.

Now she says my dogs are too big and she is afraid to come around them because they are too big. (My gosh they are and 11 pound poodle and a 25 pound mix)

I don't know how they are too big.

So she refuses to visit. We even tell her we will crate the pups if she wants to come over for a few hours.

And when we come over she is always like takes your coats off and make sure there is no dog fur on you.

By the way she has a 4 pound bred down poodle that she paid a fortune for (basically an accessory dog)

I just don't know what happened to her. She used to love dogs of all sizes and never feared them.

Up until a few years ago I know she wanted a husky (but my step father always said no, he said a dog that size is too big to have in the house and she wanted it to be an inside dog)

But when she was younger she would dog sit, Siberian Huskies, German Shepards, labs. For her neighbors. Her best friend had a Lion (and I have pictures of her with the lion) and growing up she had dogs, cats, and a pet alligator.

I just don't know what changed her and it hurts. (It might have been the shih tzu we had when I was a kid he became very agressive but he was abused before he came to live with us)

How can I show her my dogs are good and nice and won't hurt her?

I would love for her to be able to visit and not be afraid


I mean I also wonder what happens when we have kids is she not going to come see her grandchildren because we have dogs?






I will also add: she won't go around my grandparents dog either who is the same size as my poodle. Just her own little designer dog

And she also stopped visiting my one relative when he got his boxers a few years ago (I never really caught onto that until now)


How can my husband and I help her so she can visit? I mean the dogs have never done anything but lay around the two times she has seen them. they are overall good dogs

Can you meet your mother somewhere, like maybe a cafe or restaurant and just have a heart to heart talk. Maybe bring up how she used to be and ask her carefully what happened, what went wrong. Let her talk without any interruptions, and then the same will be for you. You can explain to her why you rescued your dog and why they would never bite, snap, etc.

If she still doesn't see, maybe you could give your friend's phone numbers to your mother. She could call them up and they can verify that your dogs are sweethearts that would never harm a fly. Maybe your step-father can help as well.

I hope this helps.

[puppylove2009]

I think my stepfather is part of the problem. He's never liked dogs (except poodles and he does like my poodle but he doesn't like my mix due to her size) I almost wonder if his opinions are affecting her.

But you are right I should just come out and ask her what happened (delicately ofcourse)

[wishbone]

Show her how lovely and friendly your dog is. Take tons of pics or videos you and your dog together, with other children or other people caught giving him treats or petting him.

Wait, did you mom have other issues before or some allergy or something?

[puppylove2009]

No never allergies. She wanted a husky up until a few years ago I think. I know she wanted one when we got the Shih Tzu (my stepdad didn't want a dog that size) After the Shih Tzu (who I do believe turned on her but never bit her) who was very kid agressive I remember (he bit two of my friends) both of them said no more dogs. And they stuck to that for awhile until a lady we knew was dying and needed someone to take her poodle. Before that dog died they got another poodle (they said for me because it would make things easier) but that poodle is what they call a Tiny Toy (and very unhealthy) She is 4 pounds (I don't see them ever with a dog over 5 pounds.....honestly I don't see them with another dog. When I ask why they won't visit.

They give me the same few answers....."We aren't dog people" or "Your dogs are too big so we are scared of them" or "We don't like big dogs"


My dogs are small dogs.

Also how can you not be a dog person and have a dog?

(I think she is more of a status symbol though. I wanted to take her with me when I moved and even offered to pay them for her and they told me no, they said they spent way too much money for her for me to have her........thank goodness I didn't take her thought the vet bills would have bankrupt me.)

All I can think of is maybe the situation with the Shih Tzu changed her. (Though she changed a lot once they got their huge house......they live in the most expensive neighborhood in the area. I wish they would send some of that money my way. Sucks for them that they have to downsize)

I think she may think she is better than me and my dogs. You see my husband and I are just starting out and we had to move into an apartment and not a house. But thats just the way it is.

We got our first dog and everything was cool but they did stop visiting. We got the second dog and they threw a fit (asking how we would be able to afford her since we were living in an apartment and then went on and on how we should have got a purebred but I love my mutt and I will get another)

I don't know if its fear or if its snootyness. I don't know.

I know one thing they don't like my mutt.


The thing is they live 7 minutes down the road and don't even stop by ever and when we do go out with them its majorly awkward now. Its like they don't want to be with us anymore and it all started when we got the dog.

I don't know. And now that I have found the career I want.......Dog Groomer my mom is ignoring that and keeps telling me to get a medical degree. Well its not her life I want to work with dogs (and she doesn't like that I want to work with dogs) but its not her life.

She doesn't visit but she sure calls alot to tell me not to waste my time working with animals that I'll never make any money that way. I don't care about making a lot of money. I want to work with dogs

[tiddlypup]

i know im new here but id like to comment
i think this is something far deeper than anything to do with your dogs,dont push your mum,invite her for coffee and go have a nice afternoon forget about dogs for the moment,your mum could be being controlled by your stepdad,it doesnt sound right one minute being a big animal lover and now not,keep the door open your mum may need you,somethings going on and she doesnt sound happy atall

Just my two cents worth...

I don't think this has anything to do with your dogs. I think there's something deeper going on here. Perhaps your stepfather's negative energy infecting your mother. More than likely from all you have said, you mom is trying to manipulate you. She doesn't like your choice of dog(s). She doesn't like your choice of career. She wants to emotionally blackmail you into complying with her wishes. I hope that doesn't sound mean, I don't intend that, it's just what your description makes me think of.... ever see the movie, Monster-in-Law???

Frankly, if my mother refused to come to my house because of my dogs, I'd tell her, "I'm so sorry to hear that, I had so looked forward to seeing you." And move on to another topic.

I am assuming that you have trained your dogs on proper greeting etiquette, right? I mean, you taught them not to jump on people and how to politely say "hello", and then what to do with themselves while you visit with your guest(s)?

[puppylove2009]

Oh yeah they know how to act with guests

But when we have guests that don't particularly like dogs they go into another part of the house while company is over

Frecs is totally correct here.

My impression as well is that it's your Mom...not your dog, that has the problem.

Maybe she dislikes something else (like your Husband, living conditions, or?) and she's using your dog as an excuse to stay away.

Just a thought.

My mom is a little affraid of one of my dogs. He is about 73 lbs and very nice (has his canine dog citizen cert) and very well trained but still a puppy and has some puppy behavior that is still being worked with. He KNOWS she is affraid and so he takes advantage of her and jumps and bites her clothing. I told her that to get over hear fear of him she should do some training with him, so we are starting to do so and it is helping. Now that she sees she can get him to sit, stay and STOP she is starting to like him. Hope this helps you.

[lil mutt]

There are people who are afraid of animals not only dogs in particular and sometimes dealing with those people can give be a big problem. Why not try to tell your mom that you are going to crate your dog when she visit or will keep them in the garage or backyard that way she doesnt have to deal with them whenever she visit you.