[Wally]

I found out my little Schnauzer Wally has lymphoma, and the vet has stated that it's not curable. That being said I feel the need to tell a little something about him. He was a rescue. An old woman couldn't take care of him any more and the housekeeper was mean to him and her son was, for the lack of a better term, an alcoholic and HE mistreated Wally too, I knew her son through my wife's work. I was looking for a traveling partner as I'm a truck driver. It worked out great for about 6 years. Then last year during spring I decided to leave him home with my wife and the other 2 dogs, Bruiser and Brody. He was very vocal. We should have put a red rubber nose on him because he was such a clown, and a loving little guy.Things were rocking along just fine until the evening of 12/21/10. I got home and noticed that Wally didn't come to greet me. Odd I thought but not a worrysome event. Then I went to let them all out to have their usual constitutional and went out side with them. the other two bolted for the gate, Wally was still on the porch. I looked over and at that very instant he just swayed and rolled off the porch onto the ground. Limp as a wet dishrag. Well I scooped him up and immediately headed to the vet. Further investigation and a grope of his abdomen by the vet and an xray led to one conclusion. The tumor is the size of an orange, well hidden by the ribs so we couldn't see it. The xrays showed it had metastasized to his lungs. The vet gave him 2 shots and gave us some meds to give him orally and said the tumor would most likely shrink for a while but then after a time it would grow at an alarming rate. Well all we can do is make his last hours on this planet comfortable as possible. I don't want to see that day. Especially if I'm gone across country some where. My soul aches, my heart is breaking. I only stop weeping long enough to care for him. GOD give me strength. Send your angels to watch over him, and when the time comes take him quietly and painlessly.

[CorkyMax]

Hope this article comes up okay here:How to Prepare for a Dog's Death - Whole Dog Journal Article
You may find more to help in the section on Rainbow Bridge in this forum.
I know that at times --not much can ease the grief. I had to put my Corky down 6 months ago because of a terminal illness. Now I have just rescued another cocker/golden mix that had to be operated on about 2 wks ago for cancer---Am hoping that the cancer has not spread to other areas.
There is a poem I posted in that section that I wish I had seen sooner before my Corky had to go. Will go copy it and bring it here for you. Be right back.
Here it is:

IF IT SHOULD BE

If it should be that I grow weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle cannot be won.

You will be sad, I understand.
Don't let your grief then stay your hand.
For this day, more than all the rest,
Your love for me must stand the test.

We've had so many happy years.
What is to come can hold no fears.
You'd not want me to suffer so;
The time has come -- please let me go.

Take me where my need they'll tend,
And please stay with me till the end.
Hold me firm and speak to me,
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time that you will see
The kindness that you did for me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I've been saved.

Please do not grieve -- it must be you
Who had this painful thing to do.
We've been so close, we two, these years;
Don't let your heart hold back its tears.

--- Anonymous ---

[PersistantPuppy]

There is nothing I can say that could make you feel better. Either of you. All I can say that my heart tears for you in your grief. May his days be full of love and happiness.

[petsrule]

How sad, I feel so bad for you and Wally. It is so hard to lose a pet. I will keep you in my prayers.

[Wally]

Wally passed from the world to the other side December 25, 2010 by euthanasia. His last hours were at home with my wife and I. His little body was riddled with cancer. I have no words to describe the pain we feel. He was here for a short time and brought us much joy and laughter. We will remember him this way. Go with GOD little one. I'll see you at the Rainbow Bridge, then we will cross it together. Goodbye Sweetheart.

[CorkyMax]

It is hard to know just what to say---I have been through this and know how you are feeling and know it will take time for the pain to lessen. I am crying right now for you and me and our lost babies. I hope the poem above helped some. It did me. I know we hate to see our babies go but we do not want to see them suffer either. In this situation it is the best Christmas present you could give Wally, although I know it hurts you like he*l. It is very hard to not be selfish and keep them with us as long as we can. I should of let my Corky go a little sooner than I did. We just have to have faith in that we will see them again when the time is right. And don't be surprised--I am sure Wally will be looking down on you and hoping that you don't grieve too long. He is pain free and happy because he knows he will be with you again. ----He may even direct you to another needy dog. I believe my Corky did.

And having done this today and in your home where he would be the most comfortable---And you right there instead of miles away, letting him know you loved him and wanted to be with him at the end would be the best for both of you.

Goodbye Wally, say hello to my Corky and have fun with him and both of you know we will see each other again. Both of you are great dogs to love.

[Wally]

My wife, being more spiritual than I has told me Wally is happy where he is. That he is not in pain any more. I asked her in so very many different ways how she knows this. She said it's her bond with GOD that she is able to know these things, and that GOD said to her Wally is happy after we left the emergency room. She said this bond gives her the knowledge she needs to realize these small but meaningful things. To me my wife is the world, especially now. Her beliefs and faith give me strength. I believe in God but I don't have Him in my heart. Maybe if I had Him in my heart I too would know of these wonderful blessed events. But the void is still there. I still mourn for him. I still miss him. My heart is still heavy with sorrow and loneliness. As I reflect on the last 6 days I understand all the power and money could not have changed what was to be. It was written in Wallys book of life. I will see you again my little friend. I understand that now. It's just a short time before we are together once more. I love you Wally.

[harley_quinn]

Originally Posted by Wally

Wally passed from the world to the other side December 25, 2010 by euthanasia. His last hours were at home with my wife and I. His little body was riddled with cancer. I have no words to describe the pain we feel. He was here for a short time and brought us much joy and laughter. We will remember him this way. Go with GOD little one. I'll see you at the Rainbow Bridge, then we will cross it together. Goodbye Sweetheart.

I'm sorry this happened. He is with God and will wait for you at The Bridge with a heart full of love and gratitude for a loving life. It is a terrible thing to lose your baby on Christmas, or any day for that matter. It's very difficult to have to deal with your dog not being with you anymore, I share your pain this holiday season. Even though my dog is lost, and I can hope she will come home, I still feel the ache and grief I hoped to not meet for many years. I want so much to hold my pug in my arms and breathe in her warm smell and kiss her little head, I promised her that I would build us a better life someday. When she looked at me I knew she understood the love. No matter what people say, dogs love and they feel love. I know Wally was put to rest with love in his heart and gratefulness for the years of joy you surely brought him. Wally along with you and you family are in my thoughts, I mean this in sincerity. You are not alone on this night in hurting for a loved one, and I wish for you the best.

[Wally]

Originally Posted by harley_quinn

I'm sorry this happened. He is with God and will wait for you at The Bridge with a heart full of love and gratitude for a loving life. It is a terrible thing to lose your baby on Christmas, or any day for that matter. It's very difficult to have to deal with your dog not being with you anymore, I share your pain this holiday season. Even though my dog is lost, and I can hope she will come home, I still feel the ache and grief I hoped to not meet for many years. I want so much to hold my pug in my arms and breathe in her warm smell and kiss her little head, I promised her that I would build us a better life someday. When she looked at me I knew she understood the love. No matter what people say, dogs love and they feel love. I know Wally was put to rest with love in his heart and gratefulness for the years of joy you surely brought him. Wally along with you and you family are in my thoughts, I mean this in sincerity. You are not alone on this night in hurting for a loved one, and I wish for you the best.

Thanks for the kind words, they do help. And my heart is heavy for you at this time. I cannot imagine how you feel. Even though I've lost my little friend I still do not understand the anxiety you must feel now of not knowing where your baby is. That would drive me out of my mind. My prayers and wishes are that you will have your little sweetie back in your loving embrace soon. God bless and try not to lose hope, she is out there waiting for you to find her.

[lange]

All I can say is that I wish the happy days you had with Wally overpower & overshadow the loss you feel overtime.

[Wally]

It's been a little over two weeks since Wally has passed, and I feel no different than that day. Surely life will and does go on, but in my heart I still feel the grief. I know it's only been a short time. They say time heals all wounds but this wound is deep, very deep. I wake up and my thoughts instantly turn to Wally. My day drags slowly on as every waking thought is of Wally. I need to do something to let my sadness ebb. I want a more normal routine. I want to stop thinking of him that way, seeing him struggle to do the most simple things. I cannot get these images out of my head. I am so depressed. My life has changed forever. Nothing will be as it once was. The pain is overwhelming. I just want to go where he is buried and sit there and talk to him. The people I work with have told me I have changed and it's not for the better. This has done something to me I don't understand. I'm not sure I want to. I miss and love you Wally.

[harley_quinn]

I can't say I know exactly how you feel, but my dog was lost shortly before Wally passed away. It hurts so much, and I miss her with all my heart. There are so many things that she must have went through that night that I can't think of, when my mind turns to think of it, I try desperately to turn it away. They say time heals all wounds but I think it's going to take more time to heal this one.

Everyday is worse and better, I get closer to never seeing her again, and I feel hopeless, but then I have to realize that she would never want to see me hurting the way I did, and life has to go on. While I wait for Friday to come, which is the day I go back to school/Austin, I feel a sense of grief creep over me. I can't go back home without her, but in reality I have to. I have to wake up every day and understand that she might not come back, she's been gone for over two weeks, and reality hurts. I keep thinking that I'm not going to cry anymore, that maybe I've come closer to accepting it all, but I'm always wrong. I love my dog, and she loved me. She made my life happy and brought me so much joy it hurts to look back. The truth is though, if I want to fulfill the promises I made to her of a life we'd have together one day, a better life that I wanted to provide for us, I have to go on. I can't give up on her, but I also can't give up on my life. I thought she'd be here always, I took her for granted because I thought she'd be here for many mornings and long lazy afternoons. I brushed off fur from my shirt, and said there was more where that came from. She was just so full of life, and love. It is this love that makes me determined not only to find her, and to keep the faith that miracles do happen, but also determined to wake up and not let this time pass by. I spent a long time crying in bed and feeling like letting grief take over my life, but just like I woke up without her, I might wake up and realize that time has run out for me, and I let it all pass by. It's a parallel to life, we don't know what we have until it's gone, then once it is, you wish you cherished it more and truly understood how fleeting and beautiful it all was.

We shouldn't allow these things to immobilize us, and keep us from living our lives. Our dogs love us more than anything. I know it's hard, but you must not fall into a depression, because even though you hurt, sometimes things like these can catalyze a lasting period of grief that will do nothing more than hurt you. It would hurt Wally to see that happen, just like I know it would have hurt Harley if she knew I couldn't go on without her. She brought me too much happiness for me to only allow myself to be sad when I think of her. It takes time, but it also takes you to take that step to heal. Wally will always be with you, in heart and memory, and I know when you are ready you both will take that step together.

[CorkyMax]

My Corky has been gone for 7 months now and I still cry when I think of him BUT I have stopped letting it consume me and I think adopting a rescue dog that was the same combo of his breeds has helped. Most people are not going to agree with me and say you should not try to replace with another Corky because you are not being fair to the new dog and that you can't get back his double no matter how hard you try. I just rescued her a little over a month ago--which would be about 6 months after Corky was gone. At first I was looking for reminders of my Corky but as Sami's personality became more familiar to me I now have gotten to love her for who she is. And it also helps that I feel that Corky 'sent her' to me so I could take care of her. There was another dog he directed me to first that was going to be euthanized in less than 24 hrs at a high kill shelter. I had asked Corky what should I name her and it became known to me that he was putting Honey in my thoughts. Well, I didn't get Honey as too many rules that the Rescue place that went and got her because I said I wanted her--This was a backwards way of applying for this dog as she had to be got out of there immediately or she would be put to sleep the next morning--so the preliminary paperwork for adoption was to be done after the 'rescue' to save her. The Rescue did not agree with the way I think about all the vaccinations so I didn't get her BUT Corky knew how guilty I felt about having to put him to sleep and I believe this was his way of helping me by saving Honey's life. A coincidence is that the name Honey was put on this dog when the Rescue put her profile on Petfinder for adoption!

I also believe Corky directed me to Sami who may have been dead in a matter of time as she is an older dog that turned out to have cancer--and so she was operated on 2 days after it was discovered by the vet--which was 3 days after I got her. It appears that all the cancer was taken out of the area (mammary glands) and hopefully it has not spread to other areas.

I guess I am trying to tell you that it might help to rescue or save another dog--Both you and the other dog. It may be too soon and maybe not! The depression you are in needs to be addressed before it gets any worse. Loving another dog would be good! Ask your Wally to help you find another dog--I am sure he will help you but you need to communicate with him--Ask it mentally just before you go to sleep at nights.

A couple of books you might want to read are: What the Animals Tell Me by Sonya Fitzpatrick -The Pet Psychic She use to be on Animal Planet. The book I have was copyrighted in 2003 and was done also in 1997.
The other book: All Pets Go To Heaven by Sylvia Browne-copyright is 2009. You could check out Amazon.com or Ebay or even have your library try to find them for you.

Only my thoughts but if it were me I would rescue a needy dog that was a breed close to the breed you lost.---No matter how most people will disagree on this---It worked for me. And I do have some comfort in believing my Corky wanted me to do this! And I still talk to Corky.

Here is a link to show you Honey. This rescue is so strict--they still haven't got a home for Honey which is ridiculous!!! I saved her life way before Thanksgiving--couple /three weeks before and she should of had a forever home by now--She is a beautiful dog.--> http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/18047043

[Lara's mom]

Maybe it's just me but, I never really get over the loss of a dog. To me, it is like loosing a child.

[Wally]

My wife says she's not ready for a rescue dog since Wally passed mainly because of our other 2 dogs. The oldest of the bunch Bruiser, is a Schnauzer we got back in 1998 as a 6 week old pup. He has acquired some bad habits that he taught our other dog Brody a Pyrenees-Lab mix. I really don't subscribe to this point of view. As I am an over the road truck driver, and cannot carry a dog any more per company rules, I still would like to have another dog in my life. She would be the one to raise him and mostly care for him. With Wally, two weeks after we rescued him he was with me every day for at least six years. We became joined at the hip. I am not as fond of the other two dogs, I mean I love them both but, I still feel they're just dogs. There's no closeness there. I suppose it could be the same with a new rescue but I'm ready to move on. We also have a myriad of different cats that keeps her busy, and what do I have in the truck with me? The space between my ears and lots and lots of highway. I don't know. Maybe I should just listen to her and wait.

[Wally]

My spirit that I've had ever since I can remember has been broken ever since I had to put Wally down. I always thought he would be there at least till he grew old. That I could handle easier. Every day to day thing I do is wrought with disdain and anger. As some of you know I am a truck driver. I have been doing this since I was discharged from the military in 1972. I've seen many a mile in these United States. But the last 6 or 7 years were spent with Wally, my little Schnauzer. He was about 4 years old when we got him, he was a rescue. He was registered but we never pursued wanting the papers since the little old lady we got him from had dementia. I didn't care about that. I just wanted a riding partner. At first it was a labor of love teaching him the rules of the truck. He took to it gradually. Then after a few months it was sheer bliss. I started to take him off the leash and then finally I never used it again. We've been so many places. We took a walk on the beaches in Florida, sniffed a few piles of snow in the Colorado mountains, took a walk along the docks down by the bay in San Francisco. He and I have been to almost every state in the lower 48. We became very close. Whenever I went in a truck stop to shower or eat he would be so glad to see me when I returned but, then he would get in the passenger seat and just let me have it for leaving him alone. When I watched tv he would lay next to me on his back and I would scratch his chest and belly and he would get to the point of jerking slightly because he was almost to the point of sleep. And if I went to the same place more than once everybody wanted to see Wally. He was everybody's friend. I never knew anyone that didn't like him. We were best friends. I was never away from him for very long. But I started to leave him at home the last couple of years of his life because the price of fuel started to get out of hand and running the truck to keep him cool or warm just wasn't the right thing to do. I got home the Tuesday before Christmas last and was so happy to be home. Working for a new company making more money yadda, yadda, yadda. Well it was short lived. About 4 hours after I got home I let all of our dogs out for a run. Wally stayed on the porch while the others ran. Wally wavered then seized then collapsed and rolled onto the ground. As most of you have read he had incurable lymphoma. It had spread to his lungs. It was just a matter of a few days and we had to put him down. Christmas Day in fact. He's buried at the base of a big tree in the front yard. The small and simple headstone reads "Beloved Wally". Can someone tell me how to put those last few sentences out of my mind. It's seared into my memory. My heart is broken, my spirit is nowhere to be found, I just want to sit down and do nothing and waste away. I love and miss him so much.

[Wally]

It's been nearly 7 months since we lost Wally. I'm getting better but I have my moments. I've never been so close to anything, even my wife, witch I love dearly. Wally got inside of me and when he left it was like my heart was torn from my body. I still cannot get pass the images of his last few days. I have tried to purposely tell myself to stop. I thought of getting a new dog but I don't ever want to go thru what I went thru with Wally. The pain is so intense I just feel like nothing matters. I immerse myself in work. It helps somewhat but sometimes I just sit and weep. My wife says be thankful for the time you had with him. Believe me, I am SO thankful he was here. The time we had together is irreplaceable, there were times that was so intimate with him, it was almost spiritual. Those brown eyes had so much love in them, now it's haunting me. Did I do enough for him? Did I treat him the way he should have been treated? Did I love him enough? Did I scold him for senseless dribble? Did I even deserve to have him as a friend? Or am I just obsessing for no reason? I will always love and miss you my little friend.

[CorkyMax]

I understand! I let my Corky go 13 months ago and I still have times when I start crying---just now even the mere thought of him has me tearing up. And I went through the 'guilt trip' too---I think it is a normal thing-----BUT you are not guilty and LOVE is the best thing you could give him and it sounds like there was plenty of that and that one thing is why you DID take good care of him---Wally was a lucky dog to have you in his life! You will see him again some day when the time is right. He will be the 1st there to greet you, but for now, try to not grieve and be happy that Wally is in a good place and that love is everlasting. Wally is looking down and doesn't want you grieving--He wants you to be happy again--He loves you and it makes him sad to see you so sad. He wants you to move on too so he can go do his 'thing' and not be feeling sad that you are so sad.

I found the best thing for me was to (after a period of time) go rescue a needy dog. And I know that my Corky found Sami for me! It is a tribute to the dog you had and loved to save a dog and love it too. I'm sure Wally would smile if this should happen some day.

[Wally]

CorkyMax, thanks for those words, I'm beginning to see the big picture. I just wished I could channel my emotions into positive energy. I don't really have many options, being an over the road truck driver I'm limited in my options. I have 2 other great dogs, Bruiser and Brody. But it's not the same with them. Wally was unique. He was so very good at sensing my mood and letting me know he was there for me, as I was to him. It will take time but I know the memory will turn to one of happiness, joy and delight. What a lonesome world this would be without our dogs and cats and the other myriad of animals we enjoy on a daily basis. This forum helps me cope, with like minded folks such as yourself, my wife and the possibility of a new addition to the family. GOD has truly blessed us with animals. I for one am so glad they are here.

[CorkyMax]

Originally Posted by Wally

CorkyMax, thanks for those words, I'm beginning to see the big picture. I just wished I could channel my emotions into positive energy. I don't really have many options, being an over the road truck driver I'm limited in my options. I have 2 other great dogs, Bruiser and Brody. But it's not the same with them. Wally was unique. He was so very good at sensing my mood and letting me know he was there for me, as I was to him. It will take time but I know the memory will turn to one of happiness, joy and delight. What a lonesome world this would be without our dogs and cats and the other myriad of animals we enjoy on a daily basis. This forum helps me cope, with like minded folks such as yourself, my wife and the possibility of a new addition to the family. GOD has truly blessed us with animals. I for one am so glad they are here.

I know your options appear limited right now because of your job. In checking out your profile page and reading the About Me section, I am thinking that you must be close to retirement age. Maybe you can try to look forward ('channel your emotions into positive energy') to getting a puppy at that time ---You will be able to have him with you all the time and I bet you will really bond and love it so much that you will wonder what you ever did without him! Become 'attached at the hip' so to speak. (Not sure if that is the way to say it, lol, but you know what I mean.) Get some positive energy going by thinking about a new little puppy and what all you can do with it--training it, what fun you will have, teaching it new things, where you will take him on your walks, etc.

And I totally agree---I am glad animals (esp. dogs!) are here! I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have them around. I would be very lonely--I live alone. No I don't--I have my 2 loving dogs!