I see this with dogs at our shelter all the time. Patients is the key.
Lawn chair and a book isn't a bad idea. Also, try taking some of the poop outside and "plant the scent". Doesn't always work, but I've seen it help.
Also, go back to basics and treat the dog like a puppy being house trained for the first time (for all you know this is the first time). Limit access in the house, watch for indicators (sniffing/hiding) and crate the dog appropriately.
Good luck.
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In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog.
-Edward Hoagland
In all future posts purple will be used to indicate sarcasm and avoid confusion.
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