Frostbite

August 11, 2006 · We got a press release, "First Homeopathic Ice Cream for Dogs Promotes Wellness with Holistic Mix-Ins." The makers of Frost Bite Doggie Ice Cream, in Framingham, Mass., say that they now have five, count 'em, five refrigerated trucks that ferry their secret doggie desert recipes throughout dog-loving neighborhoods in Massachusetts, Beverly Hills and Philadelphia.
Mixed Signals is unable at press time to confirm it, but developer Jeff Walker says that his blend of ingredients like slippery elm, marshmallow root, fennel, dill, nettle and licorice root water will help cure irritable doggie bowls and a host of other ailments.
The same businessman owns a "prep school" for dogs (read: revisionist kennel). He won't enroll any dogs who wear polyester.

--Daniel Zwerdling