[Smartdogs]

Advantages of Dogs & Cats

1. They Eat less.

2. Usually come when called.

3. Are easier to train.

4. Don't ask for money all the time.

5. Don't drink or smoke.

6. Don't hang out with friends who use drugs.

[Yogi]

here is the full story.....

Rules of the house
Dear Dog and Cat,
When I say move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.

The dishes with the paw prints are your and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food..(Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not stake claim for it becoming your food & dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest).

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating my to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I can fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping. They can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. ( I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm ).

My compact discs are not miniature frisbees.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is no necessary to claw, whine meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge to try and pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered.
( In addition, I have been using the bathroom for years...canine or feline attendance is not mandatory ).

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cats' butt.
I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

RULES FOR NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT PETS:

1. They live here, you don't.
2. If you don't want hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. I like my pet better than I like most people.
4. To you it's an animal. To me he and or she is an adopted son or daughter
who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and is speech challenged.
5. Dogs and Cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all
the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your
car, don't hang out with drug using friends, don't drink or smoke, don't
worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes and don't
cost a million dollars for college.


This has been around for many years...I usually include a copy with those who purchase my pups.

[K9 Mom]

Originally Posted by Yogi

here is the full story.....

Rules of the house
Dear Dog and Cat,
When I say move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.

The dishes with the paw prints are your and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food..(Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not stake claim for it becoming your food & dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest).

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating my to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I can fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping. They can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. ( I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm ).

My compact discs are not miniature frisbees.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is no necessary to claw, whine meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge to try and pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered.
( In addition, I have been using the bathroom for years...canine or feline attendance is not mandatory ).

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cats' butt.
I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

RULES FOR NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT PETS:

1. They live here, you don't.
2. If you don't want hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. I like my pet better than I like most people.
4. To you it's an animal. To me he and or she is an adopted son or daughter
who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and is speech challenged.
5. Dogs and Cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all
the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your
car, don't hang out with drug using friends, don't drink or smoke, don't
worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes and don't
cost a million dollars for college.


This has been around for many years...I usually include a copy with those who purchase my pups.

ROFL!!!! I could not of said it better myself! Love it!

[Lara's mom]

I love it, especially the part about the bathroom. I've pretty well gotten used to having an audience in there to avoid having the paint scratched right off of my bathroom door!

Hahahaha! That is great Yogi! I really like

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating my to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I can fall faster than you can run.

My puppy was so scared of the stairs at first, but I showed him once how to do it and now I think he TRIES to wait until I am halfway down and then beat me to the last step!

[DoggieVogue]

That is awesome, and so very accurate!

[LoneWolf]

So true!

Both can be very naughty and drive you crazy, but also bring you great joy and sense of accomplishment. It's worth the bad to get the good.

I know people who have pets INSTEAD of kids and it's hard to argue with them.

[Lara's mom]

LoneWolf:

I'm one of those people who chose furry children as opposed to the bald type. I think I made the right choice!

they are quite.they can not answer any question.
they can not put any question.
they can not disturb us.

[greggypetty]

That was a way funny list. Hilarious. I need to share it with someone.