[Rottie]

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember, to be a good dog when I get to Heaven.

1 . I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it! up.

2. I will not roll on dead birds, fish, crabs, dog poop etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into somebodies crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

P.S. Dear God: When I do get to Heaven may I please have my testicles back?

[Lunareclipse]

That is funny.

[Ultimatdogmom]

Ha ha that's so funny

[DougGeneration]

It wouldn't be funny in the end if the praying Dog was a female. Hah!

But all in all, had a good time reading it, with a moment of laughter here and there.

[Lunareclipse]

I have one to add to that. "I will not roll in something dead and then leave it on the back porch when I am done."

[Rottie]

Originally Posted by DougGeneration

It wouldn't be funny in the end if the praying Dog was a female. Hah!

But all in all, had a good time reading it, with a moment of laughter here and there.

Hi Doug,

You should know better. Females don`t have to pray and reveal their sins, they have`nt got any. It is only males who do all these nasty things.

Rottie

[Lunareclipse]

Originally Posted by Rottie

Hi Doug,

You should know better. Females don`t have to pray and reveal their sins, they have`nt got any. It is only males who do all these nasty things.

R0ttie

You have a point. All of my female dogs have been angels. My male dogs have all been a PITA.

[Rottie]

Originally Posted by Lunareclipse

You have a point. All of my female dogs have been angels. My male dogs have all been a PITA.

Hello Moonlight,

Actually, PITA is a great name for a male dog. A kind of acronym for PETER.

John

[DougGeneration]

I wouldn't definitely said so if I hadn't experience any so I beg to differ with you guys. But hey, we're suppose to be having a good time here and not worry whether or not we agree or disagree on someone.

I was nearly trying to be funny, though I think you misinterpreted it. Man I'm bad at this!

[Lunareclipse]

Originally Posted by DougGeneration

I wouldn't definitely said so if I hadn't experience any so I beg to differ with you guys. But hey, we're suppose to be having a good time here and not worry whether or not we agree or disagree on someone.

I was nearly trying to be funny, though I think you misinterpreted it. Man I'm bad at this!

We were all joking. Smile and be happy.

[DougGeneration]

That's good to know Lunareclipse! Haha. I thought I was in the wrong section, the Drama Section.:roll:

[Rottie]

A man dashes into a bar and frantically says to the Landlord - " I`ve got some bad news for you mate. My Pekingese has just killed your big Rottweiler "

The Landlord fell apart laughing and says " You`ve gotta be joking, my Rambo would eat a little shrimp like that for breakfast"

The guy said " Well, your Rambo did try, but he choked to death "

[cosraq]

Lol good one.