[DobermanGuy]

Originally Posted by threenorns

quite frankly, i'd dump my husband before i dumped my dog).

Now that is just plain MEAN to say! (LOL!) :mrgreen:

PART 1: HOW DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN

Dogs don't come in drunk and expect loving.
Dogs don't notice when you've had a bad hair day.
Dogs understand when you cry.
Dogs don't ogle the girls at the beach.
Dogs like to cuddle as long as you do.
Dogs don't bring old army buddies home on the spur of the moment.
Dogs never promise "not to do it again"--whatever IT is.
Dogs love you more than they love anybody else.
Dogs never pinch waitresses in truck stops.
Dogs like YOUR friends too.
Dogs never act ashamed to be seen with you in public.
Dogs don't spend Sunday afternoons watching football--unless you do.
Dogs never get bored with you and look for someone younger and more exciting.
Dogs don't bury themselves in a newspaper at breakfast.
Dogs don't criticize the way you keep house.
Dogs love you unconditionally.
Dogs never correct your grammar.
Dogs don't care how long you talk on the telephone.
You never have to wonder if your dog really loves you.
Dogs don't demand to control the TV remote.
Dogs don't buy Penthouse.
Dogs never make negative comments on your figure.
Dogs never bitch about your cooking.
Dogs never have to take clients to topless bars.
Dogs never demand sex because it's "your duty."
You're always Number One with your dog.







PART 2: HOW DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN

Dogs don't cry.
Dogs love it when your friends come over.
Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.
Dogs think you sing great.
A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.
The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
Dogs are excited by rough play.
Dogs understand that farts are funny.
Dogs love red meat.
Anyone can get a good-looking dog.
If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
Dogs don't shop.
Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
A dog's parents never visit.
Dogs love long car trips.
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.
Dogs like beer.
Dogs don't hate their bodies.
No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & the Blowfish album
No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.
Dogs never criticize.
Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

:mrgreen:

[threenorns]

i'm guessing you've never met my dog.


today, we're working on "get me juice" from upstairs. it's a split-level bungalow and the aim is i'm sitting at the table or on the couch or whatever and i say "dandy, get me a juice". he goes downstairs, open the fridge, gets the juice box, closes the fridge, and brings it back.

it's a pita - bring me the box, i take it back downstairs, come back, tell him to get it, he brings me the box, i take it back downstairs, etc.

so i put three of them there.

"dandy, get me a juice" - which he does.

i give him a treat.

i say "dandy, get me a juice" and i kid you not: his eyes popped wide, his ears flipped up a bit, he did a double-take, then he pointed at the juicebox on the table!

i said "dandy, get me a juice" slightly more firmly and i could practically hear the muttermuttermutter as he went downstairs. there was a pause followed by the distinctive sound of him getting hit in the head by the fridge door then he came running back upstairs completely beside himself, lol!

it doesn't take a lot to blow his mind.

[CorkyMax]

Lol, I have to tell you--I love your posts and ways with words---kind of crazy funny sometimes but they crack me up most of the time and I don't 'crack up' most of the time (which I need to do more often!)

[Lara's mom]

Is your dog a service dog?

[threenorns]

@dobermanguy - i got a REAL good one for you - posting separately

@corkymax - =D

@lara's mom - semi - he does help me a lot when my back goes out (opens doors at the bank and post office, picks stuff up, gets my shoe, etc) - but he's a certified trick dog. just got his novice title, this week i'm sending off for his intermediate level. he needs one advanced level trick to get that one, then two expert-level tricks to get his expert title.

i'm not going to try for champion until he's much more solid with basic foundation - but that's my bad. i'm too tolerant.

[thankstoMans'BestFriend]

hahah so true, dogs are so much better than men

[MaraX]

Dogs are so much better than men I have to say.