[johnnybgood]

Hello everyone. I'm from Argentina so I'm sorry if my english isn't very good...
I have a black lab and the vet told me today that she has cancer in her liver. I can't stop crying and I don't know what to do. He says it's my decission wether to let her die or put her to sleep. I don't know what to do, I never felt like this in my life. She has been with me for 14 years and she was fine until a week ago when she stopped eating. I would do anything in the world to see her jumping around again. All the money I have, all the things I have...
I want her to stay with me, I don't want her to go... How can I live after this. She's the best dog ever. Never hurt anybody and was always there for me...
I'm devastated...

Thank you guys

[lange]

I'm so sorry for what is happening. Saying goodbye to a loved one is the hardest thing. Try to remember that as much as it hurts to let go of your baby, you have to do what is best for her. She deserves a dignified, as painless as possible passing. If there really isn't anything left to help her,, then kiss her & love her and tell her goodbye. Compassion is a strong emotion, hopefully that will help you in your grief & heartache, & focusing on being there for her in doing what she needs you to do. - My sincerest wishes to you both.

[cigwyllt]

I'm sorry you are having to go through this. Earlier in the year my parents had to make a similar decision about their dog who was a lot younger. It was very very hard and in the end my father found it impossible to take him so my husband and I took him. I have never taken any of our dogs to the vet for the last time but I felt I had to stay this time. It was terribly sad but I am glad I did. The dog was suffering so much and as he relaxed when the medication hit his system I knew 100 % that it was the right thing to do. I was scared of going through with it but, although it was heartbreaking, it was also reassuring. I was able to go home to my parents and assure them that his suffering ended peacefully.

[dogs rule]

I was there with both of my dogs when they were PTS.
It was one of the hardest things I've had to do, but I wasn't going to let them go alone. They were there for me though thick and thin. I just had to hold them while they went "off to sleep".
Do what you feel is right and what is right for her.
Remember the 14 years you had with each other.
Talk about her, look at pictures, it does get better with time.
Take care.

[Lara's mom]

I'm terribly sorry you and your dog are going through this. It is so hard to say goodbye to a loved one but, if the dog is no longer eating, the kindest think you could do is have her put to sleep.

[CorkyMax]

I agree with what everyone is saying here--been through it and before I even seen Lara's Mom's reply --I was going to say the same thing. I should of let my Corky go a bit sooner then I did. Please do not be selfish and do what is right for your fur baby. Have a big talk with your dog---Tell her how much you care and that you expect to see her again. Hold her and hug her as she goes to sleep.

Here is a poem I found that may help you make a decision for the best thing for your dog.:
Poem for My Corky--This was posted last July 7, 2010 --over a year ago.
It will be 4 weeks tomorrow that I had to say goodbye to my Corky. I just found this poem that pretty much says it all and it is so real as to what was happening and I did hold him and talk to him as he took his last breath. I am still missing him.

IF IT SHOULD BE

If it should be that I grow weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle cannot be won.

You will be sad, I understand.
Don't let your grief then stay your hand.
For this day, more than all the rest,
Your love for me must stand the test.

We've had so many happy years.
What is to come can hold no fears.
You'd not want me to suffer so;
The time has come -- please let me go.

Take me where my need they'll tend,
And please stay with me till the end.
Hold me firm and speak to me,
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time that you will see
The kindness that you did for me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I've been saved.

Please do not grieve -- it must be you
Who had this painful thing to do.
We've been so close, we two, these years;
Don't let your heart hold back its tears.

--- Anonymous ---

I am going to give you a link to the whole thread--Maybe what others had to say, etc. may be helpful too---3 pages here: Poem for My Corky

[bigpawsup]

As far as I'm concerned, loosing a dog is no different than loosing a human family member. It hurts and it's hard but you need to do what is right for you girl. Be with her and let her know she is loved - and love her enough to let her go. She'll be ok and out of pain. And yes, your heart will break but you too will be ok. She will always be with you.

[chiclet]

I really feel for you, and I know how hard it is, especially if you have never had to do it before. The only regret I have had for any of my pets that I had pts, is that I didn't do it sooner.

If your dog is no longer interested in eating and it isn't from a short term illness that is possible to recover from, then I think it is time to let them go. If it would make you feel better, you could always get a second opinion first.

I hope things turn out in the best way possible.

[johnnybgood]

Thank you very much guys. She's still not eating so I have to force her some liquid food into her mouth. I can tell she's not suffering, she is just not hungry. But she will start feeling bad anytime soon. I can't see her like this. But the decision to put her down is horrible. I know I may have to do it, but it's the hardest thing I'll have to do in my life so far.
CorkyMax, that poem made me cry like I never cried before. The last time I cried like this was 10 years ago when my grandfather died. But you're definitely right... Do you think that our pets realize what will happen when we take them to the vet to put her down? And if they do (which it's just horrible), do you think that they know that we are doing what we think is best for them? Or do they ask themselves why we are putting them to sleep?
I'm living in hell these days...
Thank you all for your kind words. For us, our pets are like human relatives, but the rest of the people (friends, co-workers) don't understand that, so I don't get comforting words from them, and I need them...
Thank you very much, please keep posting...

[Lunareclipse]

I know how you are feeling. I miss Buggy and Boomer and Puddles and Fuzz and my ferrets and I even miss a few of my fish. But if you feel your dog has to be put to sleep then it should be done. It doesn't hurt any less for you, but it would hurt less for the dog. If you want, you can even have the vet come to your house and do it so your dog can have it's last moments at home.

[CorkyMax]

Truth be told---I have cried every time I have reread that poem and that includes while I was again copying it here.

I just want you to be aware that you may not know if your dog is in pain--They do a very good job of hiding it. My Corky did not seem to be in any pain but I wonder now as his kidneys were failing. He could not even walk the day I took him to vet for routine blood tests. His kidneys were shutting down--The reading was 'off the wall!' I knew when I took him in that morning that he would not be coming home. He never ever made a whimper at any time while he was sick. But I knew it was time. And he quit eating a couple days before that.

In the wild, an animal instinctively hides pain as it is a sign of weakness--a sign that will leave it open for 'attack' from the rest of the pack.

Quote: Do you think that our pets realize what will happen when we take them to the vet to put her down? And if they do (which it's just horrible), do you think that they know that we are doing what we think is best for them? Or do they ask themselves why we are putting them to sleep? Of course this is just my thoughts, but I think they know and prob. are ready to go and I think they know we love them and are doing what needs to be done to end their suffering. And for your peace of mind later that is why I say have a good talk with your dog and tell him what you feel.

I am going to mention a couple good books that you might want to read. These don't have to be read before your dog leaves but may give you some comfort or understanding at any time.
All Pets Go To Heaven by Sylvia Browne
What the Animals Tell Me by Sonya Fitzpatrick
Have your library find them for you or go on Amazon.com or Ebay.

[johnnybgood]

Thank you very much guys.
I guess you're right, they probably now what's going to happen when we take them to the vet for the final shot... It's so sad. I don't have any brothers or sister so she means everything to me. I don't remember my life without her, it's been 14 years of seeing her all the time. It's going to be hard not to see her in the morning when I wake up.
My mother went to another vet today and she took my dog's medical tests to see if there is an alternative. The vet told her that we should take her tomorrow because there might be hope. She has cancer in her liver but there might be a chance to get surgery if the liver isn't too compromised... I don't know, she's old and weak, I don't know if she can take that. But I have to try, right? I know that it can be painful for her, but I can't watch her die... I can't just take her to the vet and put her to sleep... Not without trying one more time. Deep inside I know that this is a long shot and probably there is nothing else that can be done...What do you guys think??
I'll definitely get those books. Sadly we don't have amazon or ebay in Argentina, but I'll get them somehow. My dad searched pet cemeteries for me because I can't do it, it's very hard for me to do that.
Thank you all, each comment makes me stronger, it's nice to see other people that care as much for their pets as me. People like you are hard to find, so you are my only source of strength right now.
I'll keep you posted

[CorkyMax]

Sorry, I can't make that decision. I don't know what I would do--I am not able to see your dog to have an idea. All I can say is--Do what you think is best for the dog. If you decide to try the surgery ---still have that long talk with her before she goes for surgery.

[mythreedawgs]

Reading posts like this is so very sad and hurts just to hear news like this about anyone's furbaby. I do know what I would do in your position..Maybe it's selfish but I'd just have to give my beloved furbaby every possible chance. I would opt for surgery IF the vet thought the pet could make it thru and get well. If not, then the humane thing to do is help her not to have to suffer. Good lucky Johnnybgood, and keep us informed.

[dogs rule]

Without knowing what type of surgery or the procedure this will be, I can tell you that putting a 14 year old dog through that would be be very hard on her.
This is a quote from your last post, "I don't know, she's old and weak, I don't know if she can take that. But I have to try, right? I know that it can be painful for her"

Please re-read what you said, especially about "she's old and weak" and "can be painful for her"
Are you wanting to put her through all this for her sake or yours?
Get all the info you can, such as healing time, how invasive will the surgery be, will this get rid of all the cancer?
Quality of life should always come first over the owners heartbreak!
I truly feel for you as I have had to make this decision twice, and still every so often wonder to myself "if I just tried one more thing". But deep in my heart I know I did the right thing for them.

All caring thoughts to you and your fur baby.

[johnnybgood]

Thank you all very much. Sadly, I went to this other vet and there's nothing they can do. Surgery is not an option because the tumor is spread all over her liver.
The vet told me that she's not in pain, but she's not having a good time due to the fact that she has a big trouble walking, I have to fed her because she's not hungry to eat... Bottomline is that she looks sad, and that breaks my heart (I can't write this without crying).
@dogs rule: You're right. I was just saying that the pain of surgery could only be justified in case she could had her good life back. I wouldn't put her through that if she would have ended up living miserably for a couple more months... I'm sorry you had to go through this two times, I don't know if I could handle this all over again with another dog
@CorkyMax: I've been meaning to have that talk with her, but everytime I try I brake down, I cannot speak.. I know I have to do it though, I'll feel better and she will know how much she meant to me in all these years.
@mythreedawgs: that's exactly how I think. Surgery was only an option as long as she could get completely rid of the cancer. As I already said, she's not in pain.. But she's also not enjoying this...

I can't make up my mind on what to do. How can I open the door of my house to the person who is going to put my dog to sleep? How can I watch that? I'm not going to survive that moment...

Thank you very much to all of you. When I get better I'll give advice to the rest, but right now all I can think of is her...
Please keep helping me

[cigwyllt]

All I can do is emphasise that although I was scared of being with my dad's dog I know it was the most loving thing I could do for him. Having seen him suffer for a week (he had cancer and went from being 100% well to unable to walk in just a few days) I felt relief for him. It wasn't scary. He had two injections - one that made him fall asleep and the other that actually stopped his heart. I am so glad I was there with him and able to tell my parents that he was peaceful. Of course I cried. I'm crying now! But I can honestly say that I have no regrets.

[smooches]

johnnybgood,

I am so sorry to hear of your dog's cancer. I have had two dogs with cancer, and it was hell hearing the diagnosis.

Like you I cried and cried, and cried some more. I looked into the eyes of my dogs, and could tell, it was time to say goodbye to them (crying now, typing this).

I believe that letting the vet put my dogs to sleep was the last act of love for my dogs that I could do for them. I could not keep them alive for me, I let them go for them.

I hope this helps you to make the best decision for your boy.

PS Corky Max, that poem is so heart felt. Thanks for sharing it, it is so appropriate.

[gwaddell]

hi
I know exactly what you are going through. I said goodbye to my 6 year old Rottie Maisie for the last time the day after St. Valentines day.

She was a very happy lively dog right until the end and she didn't suffer much and for that I'm glad. I didn't even realise that she had this silent killer until the very end. Her abdomen suddenly swoll up on the night of Valentines day so I took her to the vet. She wouldnt let the vet examine her (not at all like her,) so they put her under and x rayed her they also remove fluid from her abdomen for analysis her blood count was low so they put her on a drip and they were concerned about her liver function. The xray showed trapped gas in her stomach and bowell so they kept her in overnight to build her back up. I went to see her that morning and apart from the drip tubes and swelling she looked fine this was the last time i saw her, they had to open her to see what was wrong and found that she had liver failue due to a tumour, her intestines had tumours that were blocking her digestion and the fluid was caused by another tumour that had burst. All her organ were showng signs of cancer and we decided it was better for her not to wake her up.

[piratekitty]

So sorry for your pain Johnnybgood. 14 years is a life time bond with your best friend. I have had two of my babys that I had to make the same choices you are facing now. It is not easy. One dog we made the choice to have surgery knowing that he wouldnt be cured, but gave us a little more time to say good bye. Our other dog had a fast growing painful cancer, we took him in only with a few days after receiving the news. I dont regret any of those choices. I will say the most important thing for you and your dog is to be with him when they are put to sleep, hold them. When both our dogs crossed over my husband and I were on the floor holding them across our lap. It was very peaceful for them and us. Because they knew we were their with them.
I can only share my experiences, you have to make the right choices for you and your dog.