[avaclairai]

I love dogs!! Big ones small ones all sorts!!
But for some weird reason ever since high school, dogs are scared of me.
They wont approach me even if i'm super welcome to them.
They either pee on the spot when they see me, bark at me, or run away from me.
I'm 5'2" i'm not scary looking at all?
Why is this??
Help me!!

[cigwyllt]

What a frustrating position to be in! Are there any dogs that you can relate to? Or do you have friends with a dog that you could spend time with?

Just using my dog as an example - he is very wary of new people (he can be wary of people he knows well too but that's just him LOL!) If you came to my house my two girls would be desperate to be your best friend. In fact they would assume you had come specifically to see them. Manny on the other hand would be convinced you were in the house with the single intention of murdering us all in our beds.

So I would let you in and ask you to ignore Manny completely, no matter what he does, just pretend he doesn't exist. You can make a fuss of the girls but don't even look at him. After 10 mins or so the girls will wander away and Manny might get a bit closer - I might give you some cheese or a biscuit to drop by your feet - still no eye contact, don't look at him. When he is confident enough to approach you you can hold your hand out for him to sniff. If he comes close enough touch his chest, not his head or his back, but under the chin or his neck. Don't make eye contact though.

After 10 mins or so Manny will probably relax enough for you to talk to him and touch him but he will never tolerate you picking him up - even though he looks like a teddy bear he will not want to be cuddled.

Obviously you are not able to go through all that with every dog you meet in the street or in the park but the slow and steady approach will put you in good stead for meeting dogs in other peoples homes.

When it comes to meeting dogs outdoors you can adapt the meet and greet routine - perhaps carry treats with you and, with the owner's permission give the dog a biscuit when it approaches you and then hold out your hand. Maybe get down to the dog's level as it approaches and let the dog make the decision to come to you. It is always sensible to stroke under the chin rather than over the head, even with confident dogs.

There is obviously something in your body language that the dogs regard as threatening so it is a question of toning it down and acting in a way that they perceive as passive - the lack of eye contact, a quiet voice and, believe it or not, sticking your tongue out and licking your lips will all give the right message!

[CorkyMax]

Originally Posted by avaclairai

I love dogs!! Big ones small ones all sorts!!
But for some weird reason ever since high school, dogs are scared of me.
They wont approach me even if i'm super welcome to them.
They either pee on the spot when they see me, bark at me, or run away from me.
I'm 5'2" i'm not scary looking at all?
Why is this??
Help me!!

Don't know! But some ideas to try---Start by sitting down with a treat(s) in hand. Make sure dog/puppy knows you have them. After the dog knows--put a treat on your knee--slowly turn around with your back to the dog (you still sitting) and let the dog come to you---You are ignoring dog at this time and don't be 'uptight' or anything--natural and calm. Dogs can sense your body language and you may not be relaxed because of the sense you may have about the dog not liking you. Try to give dog a sense of 'well-being.' If dog comes to get the treat--let him take it--Do not attempt to touch/pet him yet. After the 1st treat has been taken. Put another one a little closer to your upper leg and repeat procedure. Try with a 3rd one in your lap or in your hand and if he comes for it --then talk slowly and try to pet it. You will best know what to slowly do in the way the dog is reacting. 'Do what comes naturally.' Let me know how things go!

[Tucker]

There is obviously something in your body language that the dogs regard as threatening so it is a question of toning it down and acting in a way that they perceive as passive - the lack of eye contact, a quiet voice and, believe it or not, sticking your tongue out and licking your lips will all give the right message![/QUOTE]


Let me know when you try the sticking your tongue out and licking you lips That would be interesting to see! Great tips from cigwyllt though - if you to approach "head on" some insecure dogs might be intimidated - you could try turning sideways and as she said no eye contact at first...

[cigwyllt]

Take a look at Tugid Ruass and her explanation of calming signals. It's one of those things that once you start looking out for them you can't miss them.

[Todd]

I agree with mostly what was recommended above. The issue here is most likely body language. Here's some very relavent info I found online regarding meeting new dogs as a person;

Step 1: Ask the Owner
Teach your kids never to rush up toward a dog. Tell them to stop about 5 feet away and ask the owner, "May I pet your dog?" (Guess rushing up would be threatening for the dog so slowly and calmly approach)

Sometimes the answer will be no. Many dogs don't live with kids and are not comfortable with them. So if the dog’s owner says no, that's okay. Remind your kids that there are lots of other dogs who would love to be petted by them.

If the owner says yes, then the children must ask the dog.

Step 2: Ask the Dog
Do Not Skip This Step!
Tell kids that dogs don’t use words but instead rely on body language. Pantomime various emotions such as anger, fear, and excitement to show the kids that they use body language too. (Be loose and don't tense up so the dog doesn't percieve you as threatening. Like others have suggested, try not to make direct eye contact at first because this may seem threatening or challegning to the dog)

Have your children make a fist with the palm pointed down. Then they can slowly extend their arm for the dog to sniff their hand. Teaching the kids to curl their fingers in minimizes the risk of a dog nipping their finger.

When the dog is being given the opportunity to sniff, watch his body language.

Does he come forward with loose, waggy motions? That’s definitely a yes.
Does he lean forward for a quick sniff and seem comfortable? Also a yes.
Does he turn his face away from your child’s hand? Back away? Bark? Move behind the owner? Look anxious and unsettled? Growl? These are all no’s.
Unfortunately some owners don’t understand or respect their dog’s decision and will drag the dog forward saying, “Oh, he’s fine. He loves kids. You can pet him.” DON’T! Do not ever allow your children to pet a dog that does not approach them willingly.

Step 3: Pet the Dog
If the owner said yes and the dog said yes, the kids can pet the dog. Tell your kids that they need to be careful of a dog's sensitive eyes and ears. Most dogs don't like to be petted on top of their heads, but nearly all people pet dogs this way—it’s a hardwired human behavior. There is a blind spot on top of a dog’s head. If he sees your child’s hand moving toward that area, the natural inclination is for him to tilt his head up and watch where the hand is going. Now your child’s hand is reaching right over the dog’s teeth—not a very good place for that hand to be.

Suggest that your children stroke the side of the dog's neck, rub under his chin, scratch his chest, or pet along his back. Most dogs prefer slow, gentle strokes to rapid pat-pat-patting.

[Ward9320]

Someone else posted here to lower down. Dog will see you as less threatening if you lower yourself to their level. Treats also always help to get their attention